To Love is to Lose
by MalecLover2.0
Summary: This story Is baisically my fanfiction of 3x18. I wrote this story befor 3x18 came out so please dont roast me. I hope you enjoy
1. 1

No matter how many pats on the back Alec gives Mganus or how many time Alec reasurres him that everything is going to be ok and that he loves him, it just wont work. Alec loves Magnus with all his heart. He was going to propose that night for crying out loud.

The only thing that Alec cod think about was making sure his baby was ok. **But it wont happen wont it. I can try my hardest but even I cant heal him.** Alec thought.

At this moment, Alec relized that the crying had stoped. **He's asleep.** Alec decieded to lay Magnus on his bed and tuck him in. He gave Magnus a little peck on the forhead.

As Alec was changing, an idea popped in his head. It wasent a good idea but it was something. Something that could not wait in fact.

Alec started changing back as hhe was planninghis idea out. There is only one person he could go to that giving the magic back wont hurt magic. He had to go to the person that took the magic away.

**This is a dumb idea. I know that Asmodeouse is going to price me but whatever it is I will give it to him. I dont care at all.**

It is now midnight and Alec starts to leave his room. He stops dead in his tracks as he loks back at Magnud sound asleep. A tear drips down his facr when he remembers that the love of his life is deppressed and taking to it by drinking.

Alec walks toward Magnus. **Magnus is so peacefull when he sleeps**. Alec cant help but bed over and give Magnud a 5 second kiss on the head. Almost in a way that was like telling Magnus in his dreams that he will always be here and alwaus love him throught thick and thin.

Alec heads toward the door, not stopping. He turns and closes the door as queitly as he can. After a moment or two of walking Alec hears a familiar voice. "Alec, buddy hey tell me what happend!" Alec turned behind hom to see Jace.

"What did he say? Yes or no?" Asked Jace. "What are you doing out at midnight?" asked Alec. "What are you doing at midnight?" repeated Jace. Alec stops dead. "No I dont really care. What Did He Say?????"

Tears start to form in Alecs eyes."He saied no... oh Alec im so so sorry. You know it's Magnus fault. He dosent understand how lucky he-"

_"SHUT UP!!"_ Alec screamed the words and felt ashamed right away. "N-no. H-he did not say no nor yes." Alec said sadly. "You didnt propose. But Al-" "I couldnt. He showed up 7 minutes late, drunk." Jace did nothing but stare at him.

"Alec im so so so sorry. But wherever your going, is it realted to this?" Alec stared at him a little embarrassed. "Y-yes. Im going to Asmodeouse."

Jace stares at him wide eyed about to say something but Alec stops him quickly. "Jace he is deppressed and he is not taking to it well. Magnus is my world and I cant live without him. In fact I will give uo the world for him. I am willing to lose anything and everything even you and Issabelle and everyone." Aleec stoos dead.

Jace is just staring at him, hurt. "Go." Jace said sadly."What?" Alec asked. "Go to Asmodeouse. Give up the world and me and Issabelle for him. I understand you love him but your my parabati."

" And that means I should not expect that you do the same to Clary then. Even though you are so bent on hurting her or Jonathan." Alec said coldy. Jace would not return any gazes. Alec walks off with a pace. Trying to get as far away from Jace. Even though he knew the farther from Jace he walked the farther from Magnus he walked.

**But dosent it mean im walking away from magnus if im trying to help him?**


	2. 2

Alec raises his hand to the door. After all of the worlock doors he has encounterd, he really isent surprised when the door opens automatically to show A man, standing, staring.

"I knew he was going to come crawling back to me at some point. But after hearing all ghe warlock gossip, I didnt think it would happen." Alec stood there, staring.

"Well dont just stand there. Come on in and tell me what my buetifull boy is up to." Alec flinched at those words. "buetifull boy". Alec marched in, looking around. "Now why did my son send a pathetic and filthy shadowhunter to beg for his magic and not himself. Or does he even know?"

Asmodeouse gave him a creepy smile. Alec in the most calm voice he could manage says, "Magnus has developed deppresion after falling ill and loosing his magic for a second time. The magic the now high warlock of Brooklyn, Lorenzo Rey, had given to him. Magnus has found that drinking is helping him with deppresion but it's not. I cannot just stand there and see him suffer so I came to you in hoping that I can manage to trade you something valuable for his magic."

"And what might that valuable item be?" Alec stared. He had not thought of thus because he thought Asmodeouse would spit out a wish.

"Verry well. I will send you home with his magic to pour into a drink and give to him. But there is a price."** Well duh. You dont think I did not know that?** "Tell me what it is and I will give it to you. I will trade the world for him." Alec said happily. "Good to hear. It is not a being I want or the world or a soul and life. Just a _love."_ Asmodeouse said the world creepily.

"What do you mean?" Asked Alec curiously. "I want you to end you relationship. Break his heart. You want to help him. To help him is to hurt him. To love him is to lose him."

Alec held his breath. He did not know what to do. He cant accept this. No he needs to find another warlock. But there is no other warlock. He sat there for a minute, thinking.

"Any time today I would prefer."

It was like Alec did not hear him because he wasent paying attention. All of a sudden, all of his memories with Magnus came flooding back to him.

All in order they came. From the time they first met at the party to their first kiss at Alec and Lydias wedding. Remembering their first date. Then their first time and every memory traced back to their first "I love you".

Alec loves Magnus to much. He dosent know what to say but he manages to speak.

"Can I go home and have time to think?"

"Very well. I give you will sunrise 3 days."

Alec, not saying a word, ran off in hoping to get to the instotute without Magnus noticing he ever left.

_ **Back At The Insitute**_

Alec had ment to go back to his room and see Magnus but his feet took him to Jaces room. Alec picked up his hand and knocked at the door queitly, not knowing if Jace was asleep or awake. Almost instintly the door opend to an angry Jace standing, looking at him

"What do you want Alec?"

"Your help and your confort." replied Alec. Amazingly steady. They locked eyes for a minute. Not in a romantic way of course but just brotherly.

After what semmed like and hour, Jace finally answerd, "Come in." Alec did as told.

"What happend? What did you say? What did he ask for?" Jace gazed at him inpatiently."

"Well I came here because I dont know what to do. In order to give Magnus his magic and imortality back, I need to end our relationshio and break his heart."

Jace and Alec stared at each other. Jace searched his blue eyes in hopes to find any emotion other than saddness but succesfull he quite was not.

"Jace, I dont know what to do. I need your help. I love Magnus more then anyone in the world and leaving him would tear me up. Tell me what to do." Alec pleaded in saddness. His eyes tearing up and eventually his cheeks were wet.

Anger flooded through Jace but he kept calm. Jace wasent sure if it was anger or jelousy but he hated when Alec acted like Magus was god. But yet, this is how he acts woth Clary. Jace keeps calm and answers to the best of his ability.

"Alec, I know you love Magnus, wich means you have to decide what to do. This is lover we're talking about. You can't have someone else decide your path. All I can do is let you know im here for you, whatever you choose."

Alec just stared at him. "How much time do you have to choose?" asked Jace. " I have 3 days." answerd Alec.

"Ok well why dont you just go with you heart?"

"Because thats not fair Jace." His voice starts to raise. "My heart is telling me both things. 'Make him happy and break your heart' or 'Let him suffer.'"

Hace jusy stared at him. He didn't know what to say or do. He jusy felt bad for his parabatie.

"I-I should go back to Magnus." And without letting Jace speak, he left.


	3. 3: i agree

Alec opend the door very slowly. He entered the room. "There you are." Alec turned quickly to see Magnus awake in his bed.

"Your awake." Said Alec. "Well yeah. Where were you?" Alec answerd the question with a question which is something he rarley did.

"Are you sober right now?" Magnus look down, embarrassed and sad. "Y-yes. Im sober." After a moment, Magnus said. "Alexandern I am very sorry." Alec tried to cut hom off but wasent succesfull.

"You put that whole night together and I ruined it. I love you so much Alexander and I didn't mean to hurt you. It has been so long since I had a normal, romantic night with you and I ruined it."

"Magnus, it's alright. I forgive you." Even though he forgave him, he lied about the alroght part. He was going to propose for heavens sake. **But it's not the right time for him.**

"Anyways, Alexander where have you been?" Alec looked at Magnus eyes, about to tear up but stopped himself.

He loved it when Magnus called him Alexander. He also love it when they locked gazes. Blue meeting gold/green. He no longer had his cat eyes but they were still kind of hazel.

"Alexander?"

"Umm yes sorry, I was just out getting fresh air."

Of course that was a lie. He wasent going to tell the love of his life that he went to his father, a prince of hell, asking for his magic back and suriouslly thinking about breaking up with him, even if he didn't want to.

"Ok. Well get in bed with me. I just want to spend time with you."

Alec dud as was told and changed and got into bed with Magnus. The first thing they did was kiss. Alec knew that a time like this might never happend so he kept going, not intending for it to get sexual.

The kiss was like fire of course. Nice, warm, calming. Alec pulled away when he relized Magnus felt nothing. Magnus gave him a normal look. When Alec offered to cuddle, Magnus declined.** I cant allow Magnus to be this way.**

**_ The next morning _**

Alec got out of bed and changed his nightcloths to normal cloths. Note that Magnus always were soft pants and soft shirt while alec wear only boxers.

Magnus was still asleep and remembers how embarrassed he was when he moved in.

Alec decided to quickly run down stairs and get food for Magnus, forgetting about himself. He ran back up and but the food on the side of the bed. The breakfeast was eggs and bacon. Not his favourite but he wasent the one eating so.

Alec, without being noticed, left the institute. He was walking as fast as he could to Asmodeouse loft.

When he got there, he lifted his hand to knock. He was successful this time. The door was opend. He went inside looking for Asmodeouse.

He found him in a fluffy chair lisining to music. "So what will ot be Lightwood?" He said. After a moments pause, Alec answerd.

"I accept."


	4. 4: im sorry

"Very well shadowhunter. You break his heart, he gets his magic. Pour this into his drink and break the news to him." Asmodeouse gives Alec a container.

"Magnus magic is inside it."

"And you promise to never come near him agin?"

"I promise."

Asmodeouse was grinning at Alec now. This was not fair. It is not a fair deal but it's not like Alec is going to let Magnus suffer when he dosen't deserve to.

"Now go. I dont like shadowhunters in my home. They're nothing but dirty monsters."

Alec was just lookomg down, about to leave, not listening to Asmodeouse.

"Oh and do be aware, Im watching you two. If you get back together, his magic is gone. The only way his magic will be safe if you have a relationship is if im gone. But thats not happening."

Then Alec left.** I dont want to do this. I dont want to do this. I dont want to do this. but I have to.**

**_ Institute._**

Alec starts going up to his room. He opens the door in surprise. He see's the empty breakfeast tray on his side table and Magnus on his bed, drinking.

"Alec. Umm"

Magnus was stuttering. Embarrassed to have had Alec seeing him like this.

"I-im so so sorry Alexander. I just."

Magnus looks very upseat. Alec goes ovet to the bed to comfort him. "Is there any drink besides alcohol that you would like?" asked Alec gently.

"Maby some tea." replied Magnus.

Alec kissed the top of Magnus head and left to get tea. He went down to the kitchen and made tea for Magnus.

Alec took out the container. "Magnus I love you and Im doing this for your on good, even if it hurts me. Sacrifices are always made." Alec whispered very very quietly. He poured the magic in the tea.

The magic being free was so familiar to him. It wasent just Magnus that loved him, the magic did too. The magic calmed down in the tea. Alec stared at it for a good minute.

He then started to walk back up ti the room.** Im doing this because I love you.** Alec repeated the words in his head over and over and over. He was now standing in front of his doorway. He didn't want to open the door. He stood there.

He eventually opend up the door and went inside.

"There you are. I was wondering if you were coming back." Alec stood still at these words. **Maby this time but not ever again.** "Here." Alec handed him the tea and sat down on the bed right next to him. Snuggling next to him as he knew this wouls be the last.

Magnus kissed Alec head and said, "Thank you." He took a sip of it... nothing.

After a minute, Magnus jerked.

"What the hell??"

"Try it out." said Alec calmly.

Magnus snapped his fingers and blue sparks flew up. Alec was glad that Magnus had his magic back.

"Alexander, what is this. What did you do?"

"What do you mean? I got your magic back."

"But you had to have made a deal with someone. What did you give and who did you give it to?"

Alec walled over to Magnus and kissed him on the lips knowing this will be the last time. Magnus didn't pull away. He kept on going. He liked it.

Alec pulled away, tears in his eyes. "I went to your father."

Magnus eyes widend. "You what? No you didn't. You would never be so dumb." Magnus was confused.

"I needed to see you happy. But Magnus."

The tears ran down his cheeks.

"Yes?" Magnus answerd.

"I need you to leave. I never want to see you again. Im breaking up with you."

"No Alexander im not going anywere!"

"You must or your magic will be gone for a 3rd time. _Im so sorry._ It needed to be done. I love with all my heart. I love you more than anyone in the world. Thats why I did this. I needed you to smile." Alec was now gripping Magnus shoulder, tears running down both of their faces.

"You need to go. I cant be with you anymore. _Im so sorry._"

"But I love you Alexander. I need you and my magic or else im not complete!"

Alec steadied his voice. "Go!"

Magnus stared at him sadly. He then matched toward the door, left, and closed the door. **_Im so sorry._**


	5. 5: i hate you

Magnus entered the gates to Asmodeouse home. His father. Why. He was embarrassed to have the parents he had. Had a mother who was terrified of her son and a step father that called him a monster. And his real father abondons him.

After Magnus banished him to Edom, Asmodeouse had hated him. He wanted an apology but never got one. Is this payback. Making the love of his life turn.his back on him. Magnus walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.The door opend and standing a few inches from magnus, Asmodeouse.

"Hello my buetifull boy. It has been some time before we last locked eyes. Why do come in."

Magnus walked inside slowly, not trusting anything in that house. "Now what do I owe the pleassure to your visit?"

Magnus looked at his father and tried to manage a steady voice. "Did you make Alec break up with me?"

"Why yes I did. Not a big deal though. Your immortal now. You will move on as always and find someone else to love."

"You monster. I loved him!"

"Yes yes I know. It was queit foolish though."

"If you want an apology you will never get it." Magnus always hated his father but this was just to much on him.

"Magnus my boy I suggest you calm down or things wont go great for you."

Magnus had a hard time speaking but he managed to spit out 3 words. "_I hate you"_

At this Asmodeouse was furiose. With a snap of his fingers, Magnus was in a dark room.

He tries to usr his magmagic but it was useless. He still felt he had it but it just didn't work. He was trapped.

**_ Institute. _**

Alec heard a knock on his door. It had been an hour and a half since he broke up with Magnus so it couldn't have been him. He heard the knock again.

"Alec. Its Izzy. let me in."

Without hearing and answer, Izzy came in anyway. Jace told me what you were doing and then we saw Magnus leave the institute with tears. Did you break up with him?" Alec just stared at the wall.

He managed to.answer. "Yes I did. And gave him his magic back.

Izzy gave Alec a hug and tried her best to comfort him. "Im so so sorry Alec. You two are both going through a rough time. But dont think thia is tour fault. You were just trying to help him. You sacrificed the ultimate sacrifice."

Alec started to cry. "Big brother I love you."

Alrc tried his hardest to stop, but the tears kept coming. Izzy sat down on the bed next to him and started comforting him more.

All if a sudden, Alec jerked and the next thing that happend was a fiery letter in Alecs hands.

"What does it say and who is it from?" Asked Izzy.

Alec open the letter and read it aloud.

_"' Dear Alexander L. Your little Ex boyfriend came to my steps for a reason I dont know. He just asked me a simple question. We had a heated conversation and lets just say that Magnus is locked up. I have to hesitation on killing him. I suggest of you want him to survive, you have to come to me. -Asmoudeouse"'_Alec stared at the letter rereading it over and over. "We need to help him." Said Alec urgently.

"Agreed. I will get Jace and we will head to Asmoudeouse appartment."

"Im coming magnus."

**I am sorry this was short. I had a time on this and I have to go. This is the second to last chapter and I will be finished. I am glad to say that this story with be done befor 3x18 comes out. thank you for reading my version on Malec. goodbye.**


	6. 6: die in hell

Alec, Izzy, Jace, and Clary all got ready to go to Asmoudeouse. Alec was not ready but when it came to Magnus, he would always fight.

For some reason Alec wanted to take the family ring. He did so. "You ready?" asked Jace. Alec startwd shivering. Jace put a hand on Alec's shoulder. "It will be ok."

Alec got up in front of the 3. "It's time to go." Alec boomed.

**_ Asmoudeouse._**They enters the gate of the home. Instead of walking anymore, they were telaported. Alec was in a dark room. "Jace? Izzy? Clary?" He called out but got no reponse from them.

"Alexander?"

Alec knew the voice instantly. "Magnus? Were arw you?"

"Over here." Magnus replied.

Alec saw a shodowy figure coming towards him, forming into non other ththan Magnus. They ran to each other, hugging great amounts. They were leaning in for a kiss when they heard a booming voice.

"I knew you would come crawling to Magnus! You cant even live 5 hours away from him! How pathetic!" Alec nor Magnus answerd. They held to each other.

"Alec, im scared. He tortured me."

"Magnus. I am right here and I wont let him touch you."

"I would like to see you try."

Asmoudeouse came out from the dark and formed into the light. He was very clear to see. He was a Prince of Hell. A monster.

Asmoudeouse started to near them. In a hissinhissing voice he asked, "What would you give up for Magnus?" Asmoudeouse was now circling the two.

"Anything." Replied Alec. "That is a big statement. Are tou sure." Without hesitating Alec replied, "Im sure."

"How about your soul?"

At this Magnus cut in. Alexander no. This is not a goos idea. Just go." Alec looked at Magnus. He then turned to Asmoudeouse.

"Go ahead. Take my soul."

Asmodeouse laughed.

"Oh poor thing. I dont want your soul. Im not realltly accepting the idea of parting with my son." With a snap of his fingers, Magnus throat was being held by Asmodeouse.

Alec pleaded for him to stop choking Magnus but he wouldnt. Alec relized he had his sword on him. He had a feeling that Asmodeouse would know if he was going to slash his sword and avoid the cut. How wrong he was.

Alec pulled his sword out of his holder. He wsnt up behind Asmodeouse, hearing Magnus being choked. Without saying a word, Alec slashed the sword.

Asmodeouse droppen Magnus and fell to the ground. It was a deep cut. Alec bent down amd turned him over.As if he coulsnt resist it, Alec slashed the blade on his throat. This became a mixture of slashing and stabbing and slashing amd stabbing. Alec would not risk the chance of hom not being dead.

Magnus was catching his breath, watching. Asmodeouse body dissappeared. He was dead. Alec killed a Prince of Hell and Magnus father. Alec dropped the sword. Magnus raced to Alec.

A storm of hugs and kisses hit. They both knew they could be together again and Magnus would not lose his magic.

They finally held a kiss for a long time. Alec thought he would never be able to experience this ever again. He loved Magnus.

The kiss was like fire. The perfect mixture of tounge, lips, teeth, and love. The parting and the taste. Alec was happy. This is what he wanted. to be haooy with Magnus again.

Alec thought that this was his time. He pulled away from Magnus. Their eyes locked. Magnus eyes turned to their cat eyes as he said "I love you."

Alec took this opportunity. He bent down on one knee and took the ring out of his pocket. He loocked up at Magnus amd open the box. He then let the words fly out as they came to him.

"_Magnus. When I first met you at the party, I was a lonly man who didn't know anything. I didn't know that when we killed our first thing together, that I would lose my words and fall in love. Our first kiss was like someone coming and breaking menout of my jail cell. Our first date made me feel like I was ment to be and the first time we said "I love you", I kneknew I belonged here. with you. When you were in the hospital, I felt like my world was crashing. That is when I relized I loved you more than anybody in the world. More than Jace. I asked my mother for the family ring because I knew that I couldn't live wothout you. I was going to ask you that night I invited you to dinner. It broke my heart when I relized I was moving to fasy and that maby you werent ready. I was upseat that i couldn't catch that. I decided thag i couldn't see you like this anymore and I walked to your fathers willing to give up anything. even my life or soul. When he told me the circumstances my heart sank. I cant live without you Magnus. I know this isis quick and in a wierd time and you might not even be ready. But I will try. So, Magnus Bane, Will you marry me Alec Loghtwood?"_

Magnus stared at him. The look he have him was love. Pure love. It seemed as Alec was returning the same gaze. Magnus got down on two knees to be at eye level with Alec.

"Yes. Yes I will marry you"

Alecs whole face lighr up. He jumped and knocked Magnus flat on the ground hugging and kissing him with joy. Alec got up off of him and pulled Magnus up. They were starinf into each others eyes.

Magnus kissed Alec. They kissed for a long time. This time Magnus started touching his faceface and hair. At a point Alec eveb slipped his hands under Magnus shirt at touched his bear back. It was nothing sexuall of course. Not in this setting.

Alec pulled back and grapped Magnus hand. He placed the ring on Magnus ring finger. Admiring It on Magnus hand.

They started kissing again.

**_ 2 years later at institute._**

Max! Sit down now. Rafe can you calm your brother down. I dont know how to controll him. The wedding is about to start and he needs to be calm." Said Izzy tieringly.

"I will try my best aunt Iz." Answerd Rafe. Magnus and Alec had held off their weddinwedding because they had adopted two boys. 5 year old Max Lightsood-Bane, a warlock and a 12 year old shadowhunter, Rafe Lightwood-Bane.

"Hey Iz. I didnt miss anything did I." Clary came up behind Izzy. "Just me trykng to calm Max down. Hey Clary, You always seem to get to Max. Can you help me?"

"Of course." replied clary.

A few minutesminutes pass and a silent brother speaks. "Can everyone please stand for our grooms at this time." Everyone stood up.

Everyone looks at the enterance as Alec walkes in normally stepping up on his place on the stage. A few seconds later come Magnus walking normally up the steps to face Alec.

Alec and Magnus joing hand and lock eyes. This was the moment Magnus has been waoting for for two years. He was ready. When told, Alec looked Magnus in the eyes and repeated the wedding ceramony vows. When told, Magnus did the same thing.

Magnus had studied the shadowhinter wedding after being engaged. Ge menorized the vows and rune that had to be drawn. After repeating the vows, Magnus was given a stele. He picked the stele up and drew the rune on Alecs wrist.

Alec kept looking at Magnus as he drew it. Magnus had finished and drew back his hand setting the stele down. They locked eyes again. Afyer 5 seconds, Alec loocled down at the new rune place on him woth a smile. He loocked back up at Magnus and looked away at a broach thay was handed to him.

Magnus could not bear the mark of a rune so instead a broach would be pinned to him. Alexander picked it up and scooted closer to Magnus. He pinned the broach on Magnus outfit and quickly grabbed his hands.

The silent brother spoke. "The runes have now been placed. I am happy to now pronounce you one. You may kiss your love."

Alec bent down and kissed Magnus. This was the most important kiskiss they wod ever have even though every kiss felt like this. Alec knew that some time in the future alec and Rafe would die and Magnus and Max would have to live forever but it did not cross Alecs mind at this moment.

He just focused on moving Magnus mouth with such calmness but with such force. He heard the clapping and cheers but the only thing Alec could feel was love, happyness, _and Magnus._


End file.
